A recent outburst of Danny's at a party did rather get on my nerves; I know a lot of things that Danny says get on my nerves but this one was especially irritating. I've tried, but I got bupkiss. I was rejected by every branch of every temping agency within a couple of hours of my house. I was turned down by two supermarkets. My previous employer said that it would be "not cost effective" to employ me over some spotty 16 year old. After all that I have now reached the stage where I couldn't get a job anyway because after the application, interview and training I couldn't work there for more than about 3 weeks.
Therefore I have definitively and completely given up on trying to get a job. I said I would before but a final trip to my local job centres - which yielded no more temporary employment opportunities than a job as a building site labourer in Dartford (about an hour on the train) - did seal the thing for me.
And after all this when Danny asks me if I'm still lookin for a Job and I reply that I've given up he replies that my standards are too high, that I should have taken the Building site job etc.. The usual thatcherite bollocks, it makes me sad that he's turned into an all out toryboy, blind even to the fact that despite their best efforts four of his friends have failed completely to find any employment and two more have only got jobs because a relative has given them a sinecure. I couldn't work on a building site, come on, I'm a posh bugger whose normal speaking voice is pretty much inaudible to most people, I've got no experience with that sort of work and I've got all the physical strength of a balloon. The most annoying thing is that there isn't a chance that, given the same situation, Danny would have taken that job either, it would've messed up his hair.
Now he's made me all angry and depressed. This evening with everyone giving Danny evil looks and making subtle little slights at him that he probably doesn't even notice anymore made me sad. I know that this arrangement is going to make the group splinter up into little bits. If nobody snaps and actually confronts Danny then the group will probably slowly drift apart as people start having little, selective gatherings of their own, and all sorts of little cliques form. If someone does confront him then probably some people will support him and others won't and the group will split that way. It's a shame although pretty inevitable really. I figured a while ago that I'll probably drift away from most of the group over the years, although I couldn't see myself losing contact with Colin, Paul and Dave. I still think that holds true, probably, although It's hard to be sure.
Wow.
This is a big ramble. I'm not even sure why I'm writing it, seeing as my one reader probably won't read it for another few days. And most of it probably only really concerns me. Man these things are self indulgent aren't they. I meant to make this vaguely interesting when I started, write stuff that was funny and interesting, editorialise man. But now I'm just rambling like some middle class gothboy.
I think I'll cut down the amount I write in this as most of this is such crap, not really of any interest to anybody. Not even you.
-Ben
